Humorous Joke - "After Marriage"

o Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.


o It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.


o A man who surrenders when he's wrong, is Honest. A man who surrenders when not Sure, is Wise. A man who surrenders even if he's Right, is a Husband.


o If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day


o Aadmi shaadi kyon karta hai?
Takee vo marne ke baad agar Swarg jaye to achcha feel kare aur agar Nark jaye to homely feel kare...


o Why do Bride & Groom exchange varmaala during wedding? To tell each other affectionately... Sweetheart U R Dead!


o Different Phases of a man:
After engagement: Superman
After Marriage: Gentleman
After 10 years: Watchman
After 20 years: Doberman

o There is only one perfect child in the world and every mother has it. There is only one perfect wife in the world and every neighbour has it


o Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.


o Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.

Humorous Joke - English Grammaer Mistakes

These are some dialogs said by teachers and professors who are not so good at ENGLISH.


our class teacher once said :

" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"

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once our hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."....lol...

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"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."

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dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....

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it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. tried to switch the fan on but there was sum problem. and then she said
" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)

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teacher in a furious mood...
write down ur name and father of ur name!!

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"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"

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"half of u go to the right, half of u go to the left n the remaining come behind me"......

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My manager started like this
"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"


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"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board

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"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"

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LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"

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our chemistry HOD comes and tells us...
"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter"

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tomorrow call ur parents especially mother and father

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"why are you looking at the monkeys outside when i am in the class?!"

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our lab assistant said this when my frnd wrote wrong code..

"i understand. u understand. computer how understand??

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Humorous Joke Wedding Query (SQL Style)

CREATE PROCEDURE MyMarriage
BrideGroom Male (25) ,
Bride Female(20) AS
BEGIN
SELECT Bride FROM india_ Brides
WHERE FatherInLaw = 'Millionaire' AND Count(Car) > 20 AND HouseStatus ='ThreeStoreyed'
AND BrideEduStatus IN (B.TECH ,BE ,Degree ,MCA ,MBA) AND Having Brothers= Null AND Sisters =Null



SELECT Gold ,Cash,Car,BankBalanceFROM FatherInLaw
UPDATEMyBankAccout SETMyBal = MyBal + FatherInLawBal
UPDATEMyLockerSET MyLockerContents = MyLockerContents + FatherInLawGold
INSERT INTOMyCarShed VALUES('BMW')
END
GO



Then the wife writes the below query:



DROP HUSBAND;
Commit;